Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Worship and Humility
Piles and pillars, machines that weigh on me a ton, what sense is there in this? Do I have power potential? Can I be delivered from tension, mountainous men who test my spirit, bring me to the point of letting go, giving up, setting myself up for failure?
Come out, I say! Come out! And into what world do I enter? Is it not the possessed and possessors claiming a right? Am I not a contributor who builds in them an unusual strength - that by walking faithless, uninspired I make myself available for their maddening will, conniving ways?
Against all of this I have no choice. No one speaks for me. Continuous attempt at self-governing shows no merit. In this body is the supposed heart, indeed there is proof of life. There is fury. What it amounts to are bouts of anger and frustration, my mind yearning an explosion.
How do I conduct health and wellness when at every turn my body pulls me into despair, rendered threadbare, full of anxiety? Internal walls of existence have undergone a sickness, defeat which begs I lay in the fetal position and envision madness, the world turning over onto its side emptying itself of goodness, comprehension and pro-activity.
Can I say, “On with it”? “Get up and go”? Who and with what speed do they drive me out of bed onto the roads I have left untraveled or at least saw repetitiveness in the everyday what was an ordinary life from the edge of normalcy to extremes of struggle?
Faces never represent people. Those I know and meet are within margins of good-intent. Each one brings with them an idea, a supposition that I am loved, life is sweet and much is desirable if and when I take time, find favor in this, the absolute understanding if I give love I get love. These faces mirror my misery and hopelessness, a world where everyone drags themselves into a circumstance they have no control.
So the wheel turns, we meet at its center, the broken-hearted as well as those who feel an accord with balance, praise themselves as heroic and are at a means of success and stardom for our ever-changing circumstance. It is a ball of complexities that makes us. We come from change. Many manifest the will with which a person knows where they once suffered and how they now thrive.
What is this knowingness all about? Where does it come from? Who warrants defiance? Why do others wallow in nothingness? There is a self to each and every person. A percentage of how we value this self defines who we are. We live in a gilded age. However a tumultuous underbelly beckons.
The trouble with us is that we have divided among ourselves who considers themselves precious and others who benefit from idolizing the moneyed and beautiful. A greater God oversees all of this. He is optimum, an entity each and every one of the successful look to for inspiration. Why seek resonance in idols when we as understated and worrisome can also find absolute happiness.
Granted some are blessed, truly blessed with physical beauty and superior minds. We can understand our fascination with them as joy, much like seeing the sun set or partaking in a cruise. Other than that never should we look for the answers in false gods. We are all a part of this machine, more we cultivate and confide in a force other than money, power and superficiality; we see light beyond our perception.
What this life becomes is the journey to inhabit that light, what we perceive in physical beauty and wealth. How can we find that very thing which supersedes and transcends all that is tangible? Our bodies pass on to another realm. In this life we glorify all that is our physical being. What moves us, sends us on a life-long trip is the search for a higher power.
Look for this within the self. Learn not to give of yourself to entities that promote subservience. We are all susceptible to life and death. The immortal and beloved is within. When we learn to navigate this circumstance, we would have given of ourselves to something greater than us. It could be nature. It could be a philosophy. But it’s never in another person. You give love to another person. He or she is never magnanimous enough to be worshipped.
To worship and give gratitude to is to know humility.
Monday, June 6, 2016
For the sinner in me, I seek a higher light
Kofi Fosu Forson
Under the weather of all the sorrows of tomorrow, from whom may I borrow faith and trust
Let alone free myself of this shame and disgust as the sky has emptied itself of rain water
Now become a daunting space overlooking me weak, worrisome and spent
What God would want me in heaven? Why should I care the sun has yet to declare itself hopeful,
Loving and sheltering as my hands grow cold. Not a thing I wear brings me to dare think I’ll be free
Of this misery, sadness and torment hanging above me, weakening my soul, causing me to lose control
Many months now I crawl into bed after walking back and forth within this four walled dark room
With a window big enough to fit my head and so I stretch out to look see what I could find in the world
But all I see is a field with no trees, nothing to see just a dump with mounds of sand
I come from a country of three, I, myself and me. And within this living tree, there are no grandfathers
Or fore-fathers of history. The person I was before has been wiped clean from this earth leaving me
To exist in this space and time. And to this I say I am the president of my pain, governor of no gain
There are those days when captivating sunshine pours through, washes over me and I’m forced to think
In the eye of this sun is a force, an almighty force that is God, a reality unbeknownst to me but as I sit,
Kneel, fall on my face I am overwhelmed because I sense newness, a hope for a life to come
And so I wait for those days, times of uncontrollable light that fills me, turns my thoughts around
From the sinner in me, the person living in bondage, bound by hopelessness with no concerns
For the future or the life to come. But on the times I sense that light I know of a world that waits for me
And so I learn to dream, quiet and alone my thoughts turn to love, the love in me. What is this love?
It is the energy that builds in me over time spent wanting, wishing for something, someone, anyone.
But I know it is not just a person, place or thing I seek. It is not the pleasures of the world I want
Who I seek is God. And who is God? He is my source of light. He is the greatness I give of myself.
He is overwhelming. Man above me. Power I live for. Voice I hear. To him I call. With him I stand tall.
So look for the light. Speak to it. Find the eye in its center. Let it watch over you. Let it be your guide
My mind is taking me to the world outside. I am becoming, turning into a symbol of love and hope.
I am sensing bountiful love. It fills my heart. It may lead me to love another. But until the day I fall in love
I’ll be generating love from my heart, spinning on the axis of my true identity, living a day at a time
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