SELF Made Divisible: I, ME, MY, God, HOLY Spirit
(The Artist’s Transcendence)
Mine is a life of serendipity and whimsy, one foot in the water, the other on the sand. It entails a means of instinct, perception and reaction, manageability and survival.
Having lived in New York for close to forty years I have survived on the basis of my African heritage, ownership of my status as Ghanaian, an identity which allows for an interconnectivity with other immigrants, mostly Europeans, an acceptance of the foundation of a life lived in the country of the United States, city of New York.
There was a self-awareness early on that I delved into moments of meditation and fantasy in my childhood. I would sit in the dark and meditate on school crushes, circumstances where I would envision thoughts of girls from school.
I also had a talent for making drawings, a reality which has brought about a career in the arts. Much of this requires moments spent thinking. Process by which I now claim a role as writer has kept alive in me an interpretation of what is fantasy and what is real.
Life as an artist encourages a means of juxtaposing fantasy with reality. The artist circumstantially aspires to an imagined reality. Who is he? What is he? He becomes torn when faced with the daunting aspect of employment and housing.
Artists all through history have been born either into poverty or wealth and have seen their lives manifest from destitution or proceeded to fame and success.
Transcendentally, the artist deals with magic and spirituality. The creative process gives way to the creative power. More and more, how the artist channels this power determines his progressiveness or self-imprisonment and fate, a harsh reality of living in limbo.
The role of the artist is someone who is boxed in and has to free him or herself from such predicament. He is born of a fate he thrives from and at the same time has to fight against.
Double edged sword is symbolic of the life of most artists. They have a sense of pomposity and ego. At the same time they are faced with humility and defeat.
A lot of what transpires in the artist’s life is determined in his childhood, mother/father relationships, self-identity, sexuality, schooling and friendships, all determine who the artist becomes as an adult.
The artist thrives on the mirroring of his personality. This results in faux friendships and love affairs. The artist is always at a struggle with his role and identity.
As a child I enjoyed a close relationship with my mother. One of the many gifts she blessed me with was bringing me to the church. I learned how to pray, receive communion and sit with other children during Bible studies.
In retrospect I feel there has always been a holier spirit watching over me. I have indeed consulted my notion of God, the Supreme Being and Creator, in prayer.
My past experience as student in a Catholic school and parochial high-school has set a standard in how I live my life knowing there is another reality certainly greater than me and more important than my aspirations here on earth. I have often been inspired by priests and pastors.
The past year I started meditating, a novice at first I gradually embraced the idea of seeking a holier conscience and as the life process got increasingly difficult, the meditative experience shaped me and helped me look deeper inwards. Overtime I am now in a continuous dialogue with God, enabled by a book of affirmations I read and going to church on Sundays.
Spirituality as a way of overcoming the life trip is available to each artist. We manage this with love. What love is happens to be a mystery to most. One can imagine how getting to know and understand God is almost impossible.
I watch now as I have achieved transcendence. Given the meditation process I now have an identity for God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Surprisingly a female voice overwhelms my conscience when I meditate.
Knowing where I have come with respects to the life struggle I feel blessed by the reality of God in me, how I deal with the day, the Zen reality of staying in the moment, breaking free from the fatefulness of living in a box, therefore attracting newer light in the people I meet, having the strength to reject others and the overall ability to grow and mature.
